When we avoid conflict externally, we create conflict internally.

For so many of us—especially those who’ve been conditioned to be “easygoing,” “nice,” or the “peacemaker”—conflict can feel like a threat. Something to be dodged. Something to tiptoe around at all costs.

But here’s the truth:
When we avoid external conflict, we don’t eliminate conflict—we just relocate it.

Instead of letting that tension be expressed or released, we internalize it.
We swallow our truth.
We quiet our needs.
We become fluent in self-abandonment, all in the name of keeping the peace.

And ironically?
We lose our own peace in the process.

The Cost of Keeping the Peace

When we silence ourselves to avoid ruffling feathers, we create an inner war zone. We may appear calm on the outside, but inside we’re carrying the weight of the unspoken, the unseen, and the unmet.

We begin to doubt our needs.
We rationalize our discomfort.
We question if what we feel is valid enough to be voiced.

But the tension doesn't go away—it just festers.

And eventually, it surfaces as burnout. Resentment. Disconnection. Or a version of ourselves that no longer feels recognizable.

Redefining Conflict

What if conflict isn’t inherently bad?

What if, instead of something to fear, conflict is actually a portal—a gateway to clarity, connection, and growth?

What if the discomfort of being honest…
is actually the beginning of deeper intimacy, real understanding, and self-respect?

Boundaries aren’t walls.
They’re bridges—to healthier relationships, with others and with ourselves.

And your truth? It’s not too much.
It’s necessary.

Harmony Begins Within

We often chase harmony with others, forgetting that true harmony begins inside. When we abandon ourselves to stay connected to someone else, that connection is no longer authentic—it’s built on compromise that costs too much.

But when we choose to stay rooted in what’s real and true for us, we begin to cultivate relationships where both people can be seen and heard.

That is real harmony. That is emotional integrity.

A Loving Reminder

You are allowed to take up space.
You are allowed to set boundaries.
You are allowed to say, “This doesn’t feel right for me.”

Because when you honor your truth, you reclaim your peace.

And that is a kind of conflict worth choosing.

✨

Reflections:

• Where in my life have I been avoiding conflict at the expense of my own peace?

• What truth within me has been waiting to be voiced?

• How might honoring my discomfort lead to deeper alignment or connection?

All the best,

Cristan

Comparison Keeps You Small — Here’s Why.

We live in a world that makes it very easy to compare ourselves to others. From highlight reels on social media to the constant noise of “shoulds” and “success stories,” the temptation to measure our worth against someone else's timeline is real—and relentless.

But here’s the truth:
Comparison is a losing game.

It doesn’t uplift. It doesn’t expand.
It either shrinks us into inadequacy or inflates us with a false sense of superiority—neither of which serves our growth, our relationships, or our peace of mind.

The Hidden Cost of Comparison

When we compare ourselves to others, we lose sight of our own journey. We override our intuition. We diminish our progress. And we silence the quieter, more sustainable voice of our truth in favor of external benchmarks that were never meant for us in the first place.

We forget that someone else’s chapter 20 might be our chapter 3.
We forget that timelines are not templates.
We forget that we’re not here to replicate someone else’s life—we’re here to live ours.

A Shift in Perspective

So, the next time you feel the urge to compare—pause.
Take a breath.
And ask yourself:

Am I wiser than I was last year?
Kinder to myself?
More in tune with what I truly need?

That’s the stuff that matters.
Those are the markers of meaningful growth.
And those are the things that allow a deep, grounded contentment to rise up from within—without needing to prove anything to anyone.

A New Kind of Measuring Stick

You don’t need to outdo anyone else.
You don’t need to win the algorithm or keep up with the curated pace of someone else’s life.

The only person you’re truly in competition with…
is the version of you from yesterday.

Are you growing?
Are you healing?
Are you becoming more of you?

That’s where your power lies.

A Gentle Invitation

Today, instead of scrolling and comparing, take a moment to acknowledge your own journey—your resilience, your growth, your evolution.

Let that be enough.
Let you be enough.

Because you are. ✨

All my best,

Cristan

Authenticity Isn’t a Performance—And Vulnerability Isn’t a Content Strategy.

In a digital world that often rewards exposure over intention, it’s easy to get swept up in the pressure to “be vulnerable” online. Especially for coaches, healers, creatives, and anyone building a soul-led business, the line between sharing meaningfully and performing for engagement can get very blurry.

Let’s set the record straight:
Authenticity is not a performance.
Vulnerability is not a content strategy.

These are sacred expressions of our truth—not tools to be manipulated for reach, likes, or algorithmic validation.

The Truth About "Showing Up"

After a recent Instagram post, I found myself reflecting on what it really means to show up authentically. I shared that authenticity isn’t something we “do”—it’s something we allow. And when we allow our true selves to be seen, even in small ways, we create space for genuine connection.

But that doesn’t mean we need to pour our hearts out on the internet every time we log on. Vulnerability is powerful, yes—but it’s also deeply personal, and it deserves to be honored on your terms.

Trusting Your Unique Pace

There’s no gold star for emotional exposure. And if you’re forcing yourself to share something that your body, intuition, or nervous system isn’t ready for... that’s not authenticity. That’s self-betrayal in service to performance.

Instead, I believe in stretching the vulnerability muscle little by little, in ways that feel safe, intentional, and aligned. When you do that, something beautiful happens:
You begin to attract the right people—not because you bared your soul to gain attention, but because you showed up in a way that resonates energetically with those who are meant to connect with you.

This is what I call energetic resonance. ✨

It’s not about selling yourself. It’s about being yourself—and trusting that’s enough.

The Risk of Oversharing

On the flip side, when we overshare—or share prematurely from a place that still feels raw or unresolved—it can create energetic confusion. We may attract clients, collaborators, or followers who are not actually aligned with us... because they’re connecting with a version of us that was curated to meet the demands of an algorithm, not the truth of our essence.

And then we wonder why we feel drained. Disconnected. Off.

Finding Your Balance

So how do we find the balance between being open and being overexposed?

It starts with asking yourself:

• Am I sharing this because it feels like truth, or because I think I should?

• Does this feel generative and grounding—or activating and performative?

• Am I doing this for connection... or for validation?

Remember: you don’t owe the internet your vulnerability.
But your aligned audience does deserve your presence.

Show up in a way that honors both.

Reflection Question:
Have you struggled to find a balance with showing up authentically vs. oversharing online? What has helped you feel grounded in your truth?

All my best,

Cristan

Why peace can feel so g*d damn elusive.

Lately I have been reflecting on peace, and all the ways I have sought it out over the years, with varying levels of success. From yoga, meditation, journaling, grounding mats, therapy- you name it, I’ve tried it. The truth is, you can do all of the things- but if you are still investing your energy into relationships/endeavors that are no longer aligned for you in this season of your life, that peace will remain elusive.

As i sit here in this moment, navigating the dissolution of a 7 year relationship as well as launching a new business- i am shocked to find i feel more at peace than i have in a long time. I have been reflecting on why this would be given the big changes I am presently navigating.

I am presently inclined to believe that unless we are ACTIVELY fulfilling our function/responding to our souls calling- that finding peace remains elusive… even if our life looks good on paper/we are not actively navigating a difficult life circumstance.

Fulfilling our function/living out our purpose, looks different for each of us- for some it might look like quitting a corporate job and becoming a stay at home mom, for others it could mean selling all of our possessions and moving across the country to follow a dream. There is no right or wrong here- and the more that we can cultivate an awareness of what expectations have been placed upon us by society/our family of origin vs. what are souls are calling us to move towards, the more alignment and peace we will uncover for ourselves.

In this season, when friends/family/society might expect me to be struggling with these big life changes- i have been able to find both peace and inspiration for the following reasons…

It was my choice to end the relationship, and I did so from a place of full acceptance of the other- and the deep awareness that my former partner and i had expanded as much as we could within the container of our relationship and that it was time to move on- in order to continue doing what we have all came here to do...to evolve.

I was able to release him with love, knowing there was someone better suited out there for him and for myself… and that my friend allowed me to feel a deep sense of peace and even dare I say, gratitude.

Finally answering the call to make a pivot from my 15+ year career in the salon industry into a career in mindset & small business coaching (which I had been feeling called to since 2021) has stretched me in many ways also brought me a profound sense of peaceful alignment.

Pulling back my energy from two major areas of my life which had been feeling stagnant (relationship & career) and reinvesting that energy into new endeavors has been absolutely life giving.

So today i ask you my friend, what areas of your life currently feel stagnant/draining? How can you begin to consciously pull back your energy from these areas? What endeavors would you like to channel your energy into instead?

If you need help navigating this energy audit, I would love to guide you through the process.

All my best,

Cristan

Choosing discomfort is a superpower.

We often seek comfort, avoiding the things that make us uneasy or uncertain. But what if leaning into discomfort is actually the key to becoming stronger, more grounded, and more adaptable in life?

Cold showers have taught me to breathe through physical discomfort. Meditation has helped me sit with emotional discomfort. Both have conditioned me to face life’s challenges with more calm, clarity, and resilience.

At first, standing under icy water feels like a shock to the system. Every instinct tells you to escape, to turn the knob to warm, to resist. But when you stay and breathe through it, you realize that the discomfort is temporary. It doesn’t control you—you can meet it with presence, with acceptance, and eventually, with ease.

Meditation mirrors this in the realm of emotions. When difficult feelings arise—anxiety, sadness, frustration—our mind often scrambles to make sense of them, to fix them, or to push them away. But when we simply observe without judgment, without creating a story around them, they begin to lose their grip. We become more spacious, more at peace with what is.

Resilience isn’t about never feeling discomfort. It’s about meeting it without resistance, about training ourselves to stay present through the challenges rather than shutting down or avoiding them. And the more we practice, the more capacity we build—to take on new challenges, to navigate uncertainty, and to expand into the fullest version of ourselves.

So, have you experimented with a resiliency practice? Whether it’s cold showers, breathwork, meditation, or stepping outside your comfort zone in small ways, I’d love to hear how you build your inner strength.

All my best,

Cristan

Stepping Into Expansion: Overcoming the Illusion of Readiness.

Every master, every success story, began from a place of uncertainty. No one starts fully prepared or completely confident. The truth is, waiting for the perfect moment or feeling perfectly qualified is often just a form of self-sabotage.

Growth and clarity don’t happen by standing still. They emerge when we take small, imperfect steps forward. It’s through action that we gain experience, refine our skills, and develop the confidence we once thought we needed before starting.

When we finally get out of our own way and move courageously toward our calling, we send a powerful signal to the universe: we are ready to expand. This willingness to take action opens doors, ignites inspiration, and builds momentum. Suddenly, opportunities that once seemed distant begin to appear, and the right people take notice, offering support in ways we never expected.

On the other hand, when we allow fear, overanalyzing, and procrastination to keep us stuck, we close ourselves off from possibility. The door to higher guidance and abundance remains shut—not because we lack ability, but because we haven’t yet signaled our readiness to receive more.

So, I ask you: What’s one step you can take today to show the universe you’re ready for expansion? It doesn’t have to be perfect. It just has to be forward.

You’re more ready than you think.

All my best,

Cristan

The mind is a wonderful servant but a terrible master.

To take our thoughts at face value often results in the creation of unnecessary chaos and friction in our lives. Just because a thought arises doesn’t mean it’s true, helpful, or aligned with who we want to become.

Our minds are constantly absorbing influences—from past experiences, societal conditioning, media, and the people around us. These inputs shape our internal dialogue, often without us even realizing it. The key to real transformation is not just changing our actions but becoming more aware of the thoughts which lead to those actions.

If we attempt to create change on solely on the level of action, without addressing our mindset- that change will rarely be sutainable.

When we begin to recognize and question the patterns in our thinking, we reclaim our power. We can actively choose which thoughts to nurture and which to let go, curating an inner ecosystem that supports our growth rather than limits it. And when we do this, sustainable change naturally follows—not just in our mindset, but in the actions we take and the life we create.

So, what influences are shaping your thoughts right now? Are they empowering you or keeping you stuck? The more we bring awareness to the origins of our mental landscape, the more intentional we become in designing a life that aligns with our true potential.

All my best,

Cristan